Its February, so apart from millions shilling out for a Hallmark Holiday commercialised by this glorious industry, its back to work for millions of Australian’s, so Lowes are back to cash in with another televised audio-visual assault.

For those unfamiliar with Lowes Australia’s past advertising campaigns, I wish I could say the same, but for those who’ve had to endure the auditory onslaught of a Lowes ad, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Rather than create one of those trivial advertising concepts with original thought, Lowes have persisted with the tried and true lowest common denominator hard sell for more than 30 years, have a look at their latest ad to see what I mean.

Firstly, sorry for the inevitable headache you now have, but I’m sure you get my point. There is so much wrong with this ad, besides the worrying red mark on “Siros” forehead. Where do I even start in breaking this ad down, for starters screaming prices at potential customers is only going to come through as white noise, and the fourth wall breaks get this worryingly close to dreaded infomercial territory. The awful dad jokes fall flatter than a retired footy players attempts at acting, and the acting is just that, a retired footy player overacting.


But do you want to know what the final twist of the knife is with this dreadful ad? It works. Yep, there’s method to Lowes madness, but to understand you’ve got to look at their target market. It may be as bare bones as an ad can possibly get, but I bet you anything it’ll draw the attention of the average Aussie bloke aged 40-70 after a no-nonsense place to pick up some big men’s shirts on the cheap. Lowes know exactly what they’re doing, that’s why you’ll be hard pressed to find a Lowes store outside of Armidale, Ballarat, Ballina, Albury or Bankstown. Lowes don’t care what you or I think because they aren’t targeting you or I, so stuff us, Lowes have got their target market and they’re sticking to their guns, and using retired rugby league stars as brand ambassadors has worked for well over 30 years, so why stop now? 

I’ve got to be honest, despite how bad these ads are I do have something of a fondness for them. Maybe it’s my inner bogan showing, or maybe I’ve lost the plot, but I’ll leave you today with my favourite (read, worst) Lowes ad. Just be thankful “Big Marn” isn’t crossdressing in the new ads.